I'm bored.
So very very bored.
How do you fill day after day of what basically amounts to sitting around? Sounds lively really, doesn't it. Like most people for years I wished for a life where I didn't have to go to work everyday.
It's quite easy at first – after all I'm sure we all have lots of things we have put off until we 'have more time', and there are all the things that you've 'always wanted to do'.
But it doesn't fill 8 years.
I've watched all the shows I really want to watch. I've read all the books I really wanted to read. I've even tried painting. I really tried but I think the Play School house is the limit of my artistic ability so that didn't last long.
Now I just wake up every day hoping to find something to fill my day but the trouble is the more time you have the more you waste and the less you have the inclination to actually do something.
Yes, I'm bored.
So what are my plans for today?
Well, there's the excitement of doing some laundry. There's the excitement of hoovering. Then I'll probably go for a walk.
Stop press – it's raining.
*Scratches head.*
xxx
I wasn't very enthusiastic this morning going back to work after six weeks off but actually appreciated it once I got there, unless you've got money not working doesn't work! Am being nosey but I wondered how long you are able to go out for by yourself? DM if want x
ReplyDeleteHi.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit of a how long is a piece of string question really because it depends on how he is right then, and how often. Generally (for instance) going out for the odd evening is ok but other times, if he's a bit low, going to the local shop is difficult. Also notice matters. If he knows now I'll be out Saturday afternoon he's likely to be fine about it but if I told him Saturday morning it might create problems. In a lot of ways routine is comforting.
As far as work goes I really do miss it. I was lucky that although I did very highly pressured jobs I enjoyed them and also the challenge. I guess it was fortunate that I enjoy a challenging environment!
xxx
Ever thought of doing things you can pick up as and when, like writing? I fill my good days with writing - friends of mine have all sorts of when-there's-time/energy interests like crafts, gardening, watching cult TV! I think it's about adapting your life and expectations of yourself - if that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteHi.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the trouble to comment.
You are right, of course. I guess in some ways boredom is linked to a lack of effort to do something but there are those days when you just sit there and can't be bothered which is when I wrote this.
Funny you mentioned writing as I used to write for a few different places but I find it so hard to actually complete things now, but maybe keeping this blog going might start me up again.
xxx
Oh, I didn't mean to suggest you weren't trying, or something! I just found that once I got so bored that I couldn't stand it anymore, having some little things that I could work on (when I was up to it) was great. Blogging is brilliant - it lets you get creative on your own schedule.
ReplyDeleteIt's OK, I didn't think you were at all - it was more me trying to play Devil's advocate on myself. I think it's partly that starting this blog has made me think about our situation and other things.
ReplyDeleteHopefully realisation will be half the battle.
xxx
That's why I started to blog - to fill my time in between caring while my PIG (see "http://colyfordcross.blogspot.com/2007/04/being-selfish-pig.html") was resting in bed.
ReplyDeleteI started out with a lighthearted unfocussed experiment on
"http://sidmouth-town.blogspot.com/2007/03/coping-strategies.html"
I couldn't decide whether I wanted a light hearted fun posts or a carers' posts so I then ran a 2nd blog which started here:
http://colyfordcross.blogspot.com/2007/03/depression-widow.html
I found that the whole concept of finding my way around the blogosphere helped me a great deal. Just getting out via the WWW to reach out to others in Caring role and building a cyber network helped me to feel less alone.
Slowly things are changing for me. I still become very low and stuck in the carers negative role but I attempt to sort out time for myself within the restrictions that our life now places upon the two of us.
Please come over and visit my place - especially my Careless Carer blog - there may be some ideas and thoughts that will help or may ring a chime with you.
I've placed a link to your blog on my sidebar so you may get more traffic through.
Best wishes